A Final Fresh Start

It started last weekend.

I couldn’t find a pair of jeans that looked nice on me even though I got 3 pairs of jeans last weekend that I was beyond satisfied with.  I kept putting them on, getting frustrated, and ripping them off.  Every pair, although comfortable, were MOM JEANS that were too high all around so they’d fold over and give me the infamous muffin top that EVERY pair of jeans did.

I felt old.  I felt ugly.  And worst of all, I felt fat…

Feeling fat is something I’ve felt a LOT in my life since I’ve never been “skinny”, but this was an all new low.

Even though I was working out 3x a week and “eating right” (so I thought!), I was still weighing in at a whopping 193 lbs.

The heaviest I have ever been.

What does this mean?

I’m 50+ lbs overweight for my height of 5’3″.

After ripping off another pair of jeans, I crashed onto my bed and let out a frustrated sigh.

“What’s wrong?” Anthony (my boyfriend, best friend, and overweight partner in crime) asked.

I started bawling my eyes out.  For the second weekend in a row. About the same thing.

“I’m fat!” I wailed, “Nothing looks good on me anymore!  Nothing fits me right! I’m working out and eating right and it’s still not working!” I kept blabbering on and on.

“OK I’ve had enough of this,” Anthony said, “Come sit with me.”

We sat down at our kitchen table as I wiped frustrated tears from my face.

“I will do anything to make you feel good about yourself again.  What can I do to help you?” He asked.

I got pissed.  “Like what, Anthony?!  What could you possibly do to make ME feel better about MYself?” I yelled in frustration.

He looked me in the eyes and said, “We’ll join Weight Watchers.  We’ll do it together.  We’ll go to meetings, we’ll eat right, and we’ll finally lose the weight.”

I was shocked.  I knew he’d do anything for me, but change his eating lifestyle WITH me and FOR me?  Incredible.

“But…I’m scared,” I told him.  I did Weight Watchers 3 years earlier with great success (lost 30ish lbs) just using the online tools, but when I tried it a few times after that when I gained, I got too frustrated with the points and quit.

“Why?  You have nothing to lose!” he told me.

And he’s right.  By doing Weight Watchers with him, I have absolutely positively nothing to lose but the weight that’s been holding me down for years. WE have nothing to lose.

So here I am with my first real public blog devoted to my Weight Watchers weight loss journey.   I look forward to updating you all daily (hopefully) on my progress and also to hearing from you all throughout.

Here we go!

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3 responses to “A Final Fresh Start

  1. I am amazed at your candor. As you know, Vin and I also have a weight loss journey in front of us. We should have dinner ever few weeks and make healthy stuff and eat the right portion. I have been in your place before and am in it AGAIN. xoxo

  2. Dear Gina & Anthony, This is my first blog, must I say. Your entry is so well written. I know what you are going through as I, too, have felt the same grief as a much younger man. Getting upset is perfectly normal & probably healthy as well. it may provide the extra will power to stay true to your cause. When I was 18yrs. old Wieght Watchers was in it’s infantcy & not widely promoted. I was made aware of the program through a friend of Grandmas who provided us with the necessary materials(I never attended meetings). The diet was a success for me except for one problem not related to WW’S. I began to lose quickly & became anorexic, a rare occurance for a male. I refused to eat properly for a few yrs. & eventually got sick. Not much was known of this disorder then, I just had to deal with it until it got better, 15 yrs or so. So of this I caution you both, not to say it will happen. It’s a healthy way to change your eating habits.
    As for the “MUFFIN-TOP” you spoke of, go to http://www.urbandictionary.com & type it in. It’s a very funny website. Nora & I love you & wish you luck. We are very proud of you both, Dad & Nora

  3. Gina, my darling girl,

    I would like to point out that you look fab to me! but I would also like to point out, that during hs(and BEFORE I got pg, you smartass) you were still about 10 pounds smaller then I. You looked awesome then, and you still do now. But if this is what makes you happy, then baby go for it! Love you darling girl, you sexy thing you!

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